An Open Letter to Mentors about Untamed Romance with Young Girls – Michael Edem-Duke

CJN — Wed, 12 Oct 2022 08:30:35 +0000

Most young girls have their first sexual encounters or romantic relationships or rape incidences with their choir masters, leaders, mentors, instructors, guardians or some authority figure in their lives.

Today’s musing is to challenge Role Models, Mentors, Coaches, Directors, Teachers and so on, who young girls look up to for great counsel and leadership.

Contrary to popular opinion, most young girls are not wrecked nor raped by strangers. 7 out of 10 girls are raped by people they felt secured around and not total strangers. 9 out of 10 girls have had their lives wrecked and influenced by people they trusted for superior counsel.

In all honesty, most male mentors or leaders who have had to groom young girls and teenagers and even full grown female adults, will agree that every now and then, while mentoring the opposite gender, there is usually a simulation borne out of the mentee’s respect and love and admiration for you as a figure in their lives, that sometimes get confounded as a romantic affection or sensual inclination.

Biologically, the female is attracted to a man who guides, provides, protects and looks out for their highest good.

Incidentally, all these are part of the duties of a mentor. This means that the female mentee is bound to naturally bask in the security provided by her mentor, especially if she is love starved from the home, either by absent parents or abusive guardians.

It starts by wanting to be around you to learn more from you to be able to do all the things you are able to do and know all that you know.

In their desire to be more like you, they confuse it to be wanting more from you and wanting to be more with you.

They are eager to figure out their lives, and now they are entrapped in trying to figure you out. Including making you a part of their curiousity, desires, passions and obsessions.

They really just want you to be part of their lives.

At this point, they really want to demonstrate that they appreciate you in their lives and wish to keep you for longer, but their mind cannot seem to find them worthy, after all, you are the more accomplished one, so they are tempted to offer and give you the only thing, they think they can afford.

Their tenderness, teenage love, affection, loyalty and sometimes even sex.

They don’t have money or status to give.

They think that having more of you, is getting access to more of what you have.

They want to strengthen the bond with you, so they have commissioned their emotions as the binding glue.

Dear Leaders, you need emotional intelligence at this point. Please make sure you acquire it. And make sure you use it. Optimally.

These young minds are still formative. Please be the bigger person.

They may not yet know the difference at this point. The line is too thin for them to see.

Dearest Mentors, this set of mentees are fighting a particular kind of demon they cannot even see nor understand, please and please, help these young chaps win and protect them from their own wandering emotions and emerging desires.

And most importantly, protect them (their human weakness) from yourself.

This is not love nor romance nor affection. It is a sheer admiration for your role and impact in their lives. It is in their earnest desire to be more. To become more than average. It is a good thing. They just don’t know how to go about it. And you are the only ladder they see.

THEY DO NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!

It is Honour. Admiration. Trust. And Not Romance.

And you know it.

Do not take advantage and do not also condemn; be the mentor – help them manage that phase of their lives, understand their emotions and redirect their focus.

You must not judge or shut them up, because now, a beast is already awake in them that must be tamed, else, you risk allowing the world show them what to do with that new found urge and perhaps run wild.

You must not also take advantage for personal gratification by feigning mutual affection.

Abuse is Abuse. Manipulation is manipulation. Even if it wears the cloak of mutual desires or hopeless romantic.

You will do them much more good to be their cheer leader, than their sensual stimulant.

Against all odds, cheer them on.
Root for our Young Girls.

Happy International Day of the Girl Child.

FULL SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM by the ULTIMATE BROTHER’S KEEPER

CJN — Sat, 08 May 2021 16:26:08 +0000

UFOMBA GRACE kicks off in NTEZI COMMUNITY, EBONYI STATE, in collaboration with NTEZI PEOPLE’S FORUM.

The FULL SCHOLARSHIP Program is not just in tuition levies but packages for the beneficiaries also include:

– School Bags
– Books
– Maths sets
– Writing materials
– School uniforms
– School Sandals

The only thing required of the beneficiaries is to stay in school.

This would never have been possible without CJN Ambassador, ONWE ZACK-ELVIS. And major thanks also goes to NTEZI PEOPLE’S FORUM for putting together a wonderful event.

Uncategorized – CJN

An Open Letter to Mentors about Untamed Romance with Young Girls – Michael Edem-Duke

FULL SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM by the ULTIMATE BROTHER’S KEEPER